I’m awake. It’s 4am and I’m itching to get to work. My stomach is in bits from the 4 tins of cold baked beans I ate last night. This is what happens when I go on chat roulette, always miss a good appetising meal.
I’m up now and eating my breakfast. I’ve opted for my typical attire, a lovely checked shirt, jeans and pumps. It makes perfect sense to wear these as they’re the only clothes I’ve got and I can’t go naked. Breakfast was lovely, weetabix with a cheese and pepperoni topping soaked in Dr Pepper. Feel a bit guilty really but I’ve prepared my salad to eat at work, balances things out.
It’s 5am and I’m on my way to work. I should arrive sometime around 6 once I’ve completed my 500 mile journey from Wales.
I will be in the office around 2 hours before I see a soul, this is the way I like it. Everyone else is being so lazy in bed while I’m sending 1000 tweets, checking out the girls on POF and liking 16 thousand pictures on Facebook.
I’ve arrived at work and security have waved me in. He always insists on checking my boot for sheep, pathetic it is really. People suddenly presume I’m inclined to engage in sexual activity with sheep because I’m Welsh. Admittedly I can understand where the rumours come from though, last week I walked past my neighbour who looks to be tending to two sheep. I shouted ‘Hi mate, You shearing?’ then he said ‘naa mate, I’m gonna fuck ’em both meself’. Not exactly ideal is it.
People think I’m a grumpy so-and-so but I’m just direct and straight to the point. No point beating around the sheep pen.
People have started to arrive at work. The tea is flowing and I’m on my tenth cup already at 9am. I love a good cup of tea, I also love having a good natter in the bistro. I’ve got my eye on 16 women but I’m keeping my opinions to myself, marriage is not for me.
It’s almost dinner and I’ve made some good progress. I’m a jack of all trades at work and I’m switching from UX, FE development, JS, Designing in the browser and Fifa simultaneously. I’ve had 3 meetings and called for 9 others, I’ve moaned 56 times, had nineteen tea breaks and sent 11 thousand tweets, so yeah it’s going really well today. Well I say that but Drupal is really getting me down, what the fuck is this shit. It’s a pathetic piece of kit but I’m going to approach this as I normally do and book a holiday in for near its deadline, some other clown can sort it for me.
It’s lunchtime now and I’m about to go running at work. We have a gym but I tend to prefer running around the gardens twice. 1.5mins and 26 burnt calories later and I’m back in the office playing FIFA and eating my healthy 500 calorie salad, best thing is I didn’t even need to shower.
Some idiot is tweeting me some abuse. How dare they disrespect my opinion. I’ve over 1k followers and I’m somewhat of a web celeb, how dare they question my expertise. After getting a little flustered I’ve realised it’s only justine, he’s always giving me grief.
The day’s almost over. I’m so hungry and if it wasn’t for the 76 tic taks I’ve consumed I suspect I might have been hungrier. The work lot are playing football tonight but as usual I’ve decided not to play. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it, it’s that cheeky little bastard Shane, forever giving me shit for not tracking back.
Woah I’m tired. It’s 8pm and I’m still at work. These bastard deadlines are killing me. It’s not all bad though, I’m on my third beer, Dominoes was fantastic and I’m debating sleeping on that comfy sofa in one of the rooms at work.
I’m home!!! I sacked work off at 8-01pm tweeted and blogged about it then jumped into my 2L TURBO Skoda back into the country of sexy sheep. I’m home now and on Chatroulette, POF, Bet365 and Tube8, I’m desperate to get youporn hooked up to my child’s fisher price tablet but it’s not having it. GOALLLLLLLL Hyberid Geronimo from the Ghana 4th division have just scored to net me 3p from my 5p stake! SO CHUFFED!
Bedtime now. Doing a spot of Bedtime reading. I’ve gone for Andy Clark’s “Hardboiled Web Design”, I’ve read it that many times I know the pictures off by heart, I just can’t seem to apply the skills at work yet.
Oh well that’s a day in the Life of me, Danny Davis.
Can’t wait for tomorrow!